Probe snob!

Whenever I think of you I remember to lock my doors.

Buddies are either working or on vacation. Had to play solo today. So of course I play one of my best rounds ever, breaking 90 for just the second time. (yes, I suck) So I told them they were bad luck and it's been nice knowing them.

whenever someone sends me something that opens up to another screen

When I get hungry, I just take a bite of the giant chip on my shoulder.

I think we can all agree that people are far more fucked up now than ever.

Social media is great if you want to absorb information but learn nothing.

Welcome to the neighbourhood I hope you like wind chimes cuz I fuckin LOVE them.

You only have one life to live, so be sure to waste at least 38% of it arguing with strangers online.

a skip ads button but for life