We really don't have an idea of how to grow up to be a man that doesn't involve turning into a jerk. It's not just the neo-nazis, in some ways the sensitive new age guys are just as bad.

I think this is closer to the correct version of that discourse but even here there's nuance. It isn't that those ideas and models don't exist. It's that it's hard to get young men to follow them because society's incentive structures largely favour the jerks, and nobody knows how to solve that?