A fuck-up rich kid who gets old, withered, bald, a much younger second wife, in and out of financial scams and then buys a pro franchise, because if you are rich enough your midlife crisis can be even grander than a convertible, and anyway you're a *champion*, you are a winner and a beloved boy.

You're impulsive but also always 3 steps behind; you have the impatience of a child but also a child's stubbornness, so you hold onto the coach an offseason too long, because you are Actually Doing A Great Job. Everyone hates you. A quarterback owns your franchise now & he doesn't even like it here.