(secret billionaire meeting) WALGREENS CEO: ok so the vote passes, whenever we fuck up we blame shoplifters and minimum wage increases, right? LOWES CEO: yep TARGET CEO: got it RED LOBSTER CEO (in the corner shoveling shrimp into mouth): mmhmm

Dead Lobster

Hey Red Lobster--the ocean called, they're running out of shrimp!

Me with an infinite supply of shrimp shaped belly: how could this happen?

Is 'shrimp' the new hip slang for venture capitalism now

Did they not do some, like, basic math before offering the promotion?

Remake Red Lobster as Vegan, and you get to KEEP the lobster or shrimp in question. Alive. Because Vegan.

Max shelved shows, laid off staff, and raised prices because they’re “struggling”. Then the CEO gets a 50 million dollar pay raise.

Target’s problems are not from theft. They nerfed their best clothing suppliers, added horrible Muzak, the stores are dirty, and shelves half empty because not enough staff to stock them. They stopped carrying anchovies. I loved Target, but it’s a sad mess and I never go there now.

literally the 20th anniversary of when they did this but with crab