My worst experience in the cinema was Open Water. Marketed as Jaws meets The Blair Witch Project and "based on a true story", it was the biggest waste of 79 minutes (and oh god it felt like longer) of my entire life. Crashingly boring, I simply wanted the main characters to die so I could go home.

I got this confused with the excruciatingly bad Dark Water, which was billed as "the new Ring, a terrifying psychological horror", but instead of a scary woman crawling out of a telly, the villain is... rising damp. But y'know. Malevolent

When I say "worst experience in the cinema", I mean as a punter. As an employee of one, hoooooo boy...