the lack of fully investing means i dont feel responsible, which makes me feel childish and adolescent -- but fully investing is hard, im just not that extrinstically motivated to Think For Hire. I would call it "laziness" (i do sometimes) but it would actually be a bit too reductive.
i genuinely think maybe doing a phd while welding or woodworking for cash for several years and then doing whatever afterwards that isnt an office gig will actually satisfy me. The phd? for my ego and to satisfy a certain itch. The trade? because i actually enjoy not thinking
the thing that kills, is the vicious cycle of not caring, not trying, the self-castigation of not trying because i should be, & so on
one more office pure job after this one might actually end me. i need to find another way
El Cárre
changed my mind this website has the juice
not exactly what you're looking for but Hirschmanian "linkages" might be a relatedly useful keyword/concept
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In the sense that "twitter/internet is real life" and "everyone owns a smart phone" I honestly don't think it does. Or rather, what matters is producing the images, not any actual physical artifact of the image production itself (eg firm handshakes in Iowa)