Spinal Tap

It’s insane that different counties drive on opposite sides of the road. There should’ve been one phone call in 1908 where someone was like, “Wait, you guys are doing WHAT?!”

Bro they’re playing political attack ads on the all-Christmas-carols radio station

That’s no condo. It’s a space station.

When I’m cooking for my 5 and 3YOs I’ll google shit like: “Delicious meal ideas with no flavor whatsoever”

Time flies when you’re snoozing suggested posts for 30 days

“Dad I’m starting a diary and it’s going to say RUDE THINGS.” -the 2YO

WIFE: just a heads up, both of our children are saying “goddammit” when they’re frustrated… ME: 😐 WIFE: and the 5YO said she says it because YOU say it… ME: 😐 WIFE …and then while we were talking about it, we heard you yell “goddammit” loudly from the basement ME: 😑

Caught the end of Fear and Loathing on cable and was reminded of this gem as he watches Dr Gonzo board the plane: “There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”

The 5YO loved the bumper cars at the fair SO MUCH that I’m afraid of her now