tried to test the database to see if it was ACID compliant (poured lemon juice all over the servers) and now everyone is mad at me for some reason

Probably because you just did happy path testing. You need to add test cases where you pour alkaline over the servers (a baking soda solution will do) and a neutral pH solution. Tsk, developers, what are you like?

Next stop, check it's SOLID!

bluesky running without servers? never knew bluesky’s architecture was serverless

To test indestructability let children do the test and disable the break or escape key!

That's why all my posts are now full of lemons

major CAP

clearly you should convert it to a BASE database, to neutralize the lemon juice

guess they've never heard of a Soak test

Try hydrochloric acid??