Twitter User: Youre so annoying! I'm going to Quote Tweet you! Bluesky User: Youre so annoying! I'm going to block you! LinkedIn User: Another awesome job by "The Robot", our 28 year old overworked IT guy who passed a kidney stone on company time today and still made the deadline #Inspiring#hustle
Hello Proxy Pack can you please Resky my Skyeets please I'm trying to build an audience here & if it goes well I will stay here full time
My Cellmate: So what are you in for? Me: You remember when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear? Cellmate: Yeah? Me: Yeah. Cellmate: You STOLE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY?! Me: Wtf no I sexually assaulted David Copperfield
(In Prison) My Cellmate: So what are you in for? Me: You ever seen that movie, Planet of the Apes? Cellmate: Yeah? Me: Yeah. Cellmate: ... Guard: (whispering) What the fuck does that mean Cellmate: (whispering back) I dont know but she said it with such confidence that now I'm too afraid to ask
Including little differences in my posts between here & Twitter like its Pokemon versions
(Curls up into a ball) babe... Can you please call me Knuckles... "You mean Sonic?" (Dissappintedly getting out of the curled position) No, I said Knuckles...
Playing Wind Waker is like fucking my wife. Everyone's tried it at least once but I'm eager to finally get the chance to myself
Say what you will about Twitter's Algorithm; its predatory, it impacts your mental health, its broken sometimes even. But DAMN is it effective. I never realized how little incentive there is to stay on a website with no algorithm. I just scrolled my feed for 4 minutes & got bored. Theres nothing new
If you've ever been mean to me I hope you DIE!!!!!!!!! Or get a bad stomach cramp or something idk whichever would inconvenience you more.
