confession: have only seen about half of an episode of spongebob squarepants over ten years ago prob the last time I had mcdonalds too

of course it would all be imitation and if you’ve never seen how that stuff is made it’s a goddamn revelation

would prefer to live in a world where a fast food company has the vision to actually roll out a real crab patty at near market saturating scale. imagine global fuckin mclobster that is what we need along with a real gnarly up close crab imagery heavy omnichannel campaign

vance trying hard not to reveal he’s gargling mold and tar at the back of his throat

who do I talk to about compensation and a catered meal for having to observe vance for more than a soundbite?

hard to believe that vance buck hunter video is real it is so off

boy oh gosh polit-con is gonna be fun this year. wait. is that still a thing?

fathoming someone gazing at rfk jr longingly while he tells the bear story to roseanne barr is the sort of thing that happens when you take datura

When one partner in an affair is carrying literal brain worms and the other only metaphorical ones, that's a phage gap