I just need my drafts imported and I’m ready to go.

Jesus was like never cross me or else. They took him literally.

When Paul Walker goes to Vin Diesel’s house party in The Fast and Furious they’re playing “I Got Hoes” by Ludacris on the stereo. But in 2 Fast 2 Furious Ludacris appears as street racer Tej Parker.

When your dog gets sick at 4am and jackson pollocks your house and couch in vomit.

Are all goats the goat? Like how can a goat be the greatest if all goats are goats.

I have no idea what I’m doing here.

Why don’t food delivery services charge a tip thats based on restaurant difficulty and distance? Would make so much more sense than asking for 29% by default.