I went with something similar but even less charitable. It reads like something written by one of my mom's 6th graders - specifically, one of the better students who'd forgotten about the assignment and wrote it in the 15 minutes before class.

At its best, it uses appropriate spelling and grammar, makes sense, and understands the basics of genre. But it can't write a character arc or have any novel insights about anything, and it lacks the weirdness that makes kids' writing so interesting.