I'm an old ass lady that still loves to finger paint.

Wife: It’s a very nice gift basket Me: Yes. Tell the kids that if they eat that smoked Gouda before I get home I will [clunk] Wife: ? Me: Sorry I was making air quotes around choke a bitch and I dropped the phone

They're a great place for kids to play Pokémon Go!

Dammit Pinky, now we have to come up with another way to destroy the world

Screens are easier to fix than they appear.

They're silently judging you

I'm from rural Kansas and would have done what you did. Moments like those is where you do what you feel is best for you.

Sleepy Sunday

I was hoping for more of the y2k vibes

🎉