Lmfao 😂 just made the dumbest 90s reference post… let’s see who gets my ignorance. Just finished my finals for the term. Hope you’re all well! 💕
Imagine hating me and I’m just over here eating my kids Scooby Doo fruit snacks
Stopping and saying hi! Miss you fuckers! PS nursing school is going great!! 😘
Kept calling the old pinup hairstyle, “Glory rolls” instead of “Victory rolls” And now I need to wash my hair..
My kids: I’m an adult. I don’t want your advice. I’m going to do what I want to do. Also my kids: I know I didn’t listen to you, but you’re my parent; it’s your responsibility to bail me out of this.
Said, “I don’t understand technology” And suddenly a life alert bracelet appeared on my wrist
Them: how’s the diet going? Me: Oh, it’s going great Them: what are you having for lunch Me: Just a sandwich Them: what kind? Me: Ice cream…. 🙃
You're a special kind of fucked up when an exceptionally good mood only makes you mourn the inevitable loss of said good mood
How do you tell a girl you really like that you want her to choke you and spit in your mouth while she fucks your ass time is of the essence thank you