Free campaign strategy to anyone who wants it: "If JD Vance were your neighbor, can you imagine him helping you move?" "If Tim Walz were your neighbor, can you imagine him /not/ helping you move?"

vance would just fuck my couch

Well, after putting the couches inside (under surveillance) I would invite him to leave, because no one would make more careful about my couches. But no intimacy.

JD has big HOA energy

I can imagine JD helping me move, but only by showing up with his man van truck that has a bed too small and making fun of my Subaru

Shouldn’t let the Vance guy near your furniture, just sayin’

I mean, if it was the sofa...

I’d certainly help JD move…out.

So sad I got here too late for the couch jokes

This year's election: Your cool coworker and chill uncle vs. Your creepy neighbor with way too many lawn ornaments and cousin you never talk to that no one invites to family gatherings.

JD Vance would make a big deal out of making his interns help you move, and not pay them for working overtime on a weekend. Being Vance's staff, they'd take it out on you by thiefing and pawning family heirlooms of purely sentimental value.