Fable congratulated me on my 1 week streak and I’ve never been more upset with myself for not having this in 2010 like Goodreads. Because it’s been FAR longer than a week.

I think he fails to remember that I’ve been actively avoiding people and human interaction FAR longer than he has. I’ve got the tricks of the trade. And yet I still can’t find the antidote to my fucking orbit. Remembering you, weird guy at Knoebels in the tiny shop with no escape route.

Husband’s been trying, and failing, to avoid this other father at the kids’ dojang. He’s flummoxed because his methods haven’t worked yet. I advised him to bring a book to read. His eyes lit up like it was Christmas 1996 and he got to unwrap his N64.

He’s the prime example of always being the one you least expect. Hell, I still remember when he chewed us out for talking to strangers. It was a freaking waitress. And his 2 year old ass told us if we talked to strangers, so was he. And he proceeded to STAND ON HIS CHAIR TO SHOUT HI TO EVERYONE.

SQUIRRELS AND/OR COUSINS ARE NOT GOOD REASONS. Still never really figured out if it was one, the other, or both. And of course. I might be a heathen but even I know what is and isn’t acceptable.

Of the 6 collective babies, only ONE has had a police escort back. Only one. Let’s remember that. But too also, fried pickles for everyone.

HEY 13 MIGHT BE A LITTLE SHIT SOMETIMES AND SURE MAYBE HE ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK BUT HE IS A SOUR PATCH KID THROUGH AND THROUGH. 17 couldn’t help the echolalia, and he didn’t ACTUALLY want me to “die, bitch”. I’m willing to die on this hill. They both get fried pickles our next visit.

Your ignorance astounds me. They all have you SO fooled.

No slander. No libel. Not when it’s true. And I dare you to look Dot in the eyes and tell me it’s not true. 😂

BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW TO LURE YOU IN WITH A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY.