Pilled by the slurpy cucumber salad man so now my grocery list says “entire cucumber”

Human factors as a euphemism for the incorrigible need to shitpost

Pleasing

i am in hysterics

In elementary school, the library had an illustrated book of cookie recipes and I'd go in there and loudly ogle the cookie pictures like "hachie-machie get a load of this one. a fella could do a lot worse" like they were centerfolds.

What on earth can a person do with a seven hour layover at Logan

I think but am not completely sure that all sharps are created equal

👍

Billy idol voice it’s aaaah nice day for some WEED COFFEE

this is a joke about Jon Lovett getting voted off survivor