Our message to voters? Facebook-sourced, pet-based ethnic blood libel.

"Aliens."

“We’re wildly unpopular with a lot of voters. What should we do to turn that around?” “… Get Haitians lynched?” “Get Haitians lynched.”

I wish the blood libel wasn’t likely going to get someone killed

I sincerely tempted to take it to the absurd and write how they only take virgin christian pets and use their blood in whatever is the closest Haitian analogue of Matzes but i’m sure the satire would just fly straight over their heads.

“Do you honestly believe any of this?” “I believe it might work.”

Catdrenochrome.