Sorry, you need to explain 'cozy'. Perhaps it was cold and they were just trying to keep warm. Or they were shagging?

Someone's been watching far too many porn movies.

Some landlords are terrible. I think I'm a decent landlord compared with others. My wife deals with deposits for a national rental agency, and I can't believe what some try and blame on tenants and claim from their deposits

You can't have 'left' without returning the keys. However, landlords/ letting agents always have a key, but there are rules that most abide by.

Give up trying to read Penthouse and use LubeTube like everyone else

I'm in the UK. Twitter is working as usual. Racism Anti vax Trumpist lies Right-wing Christian hypocrisy Conspiracy theories Global warming denials/Hurricane Milton was created by Biden to stop people voting for Trump. Actually, number 3 covers the rest, but I thought I would throw them in anyway

But their Public Liability insurance would have paid out

It gets worse as you get older. You may have to look at yourself for several minutes waiting for the stream to trickle down the hill

Wait until you get really old. 73 seconds is a quick one

Your work attire is nothing to do with them, although I find getting Zinsser Allcoat a bugger to get out of pubic hair