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civ 👻🍎 - 🇵🇸 🕎 ☮️ - ceasefire now

@uncivil.work

566 followers573 following6.4k posts

Cuncivil.workOct 13, 2024 4:23pm

only posting 2 images because alt text was too long the final post in this thread has an arrow labeled "2" in green going to the thread labeled "2" (in blue) from the origin post

screenshot of the thread labeled "1" in green from the thought map diagram
contents of the thread:
the thing about my rabbi wanting to discuss shit w/ me in person is that honestly, and this is a highly personal, individual view, i think that's ableist in a way
and it's not *his* fault he isn't aware that an in-person conversation is not a good fit for me and i am willing to educate him on this
and i can absolutely understand that to some people, a conversation that is over text is ableist against them! it is entirely possible that we have needs that require different, sometimes competing accommodations! what we should do is work to find something that works for each unique situation
so yeah ultimately the thing is that for me, an autistic person with social anxiety and adhd, i struggle to have in-person conversations because i feel the need and urgency and pressure to respond in real-time and can't organize my thoughts the way i would like
so yeah ultimately the thing is that for me, an autistic person with social anxiety and adhd, i struggle to have in-person conversations because i feel the need and urgency and pressure to respond in real-time and can't organize my thoughts the way i would like
i can understand that for him, talking over text is a form of communication where maybe he can't read tone, struggles to empathize, idk what his exact issues are. i certainly can ask and try to accommodate. i don't want him at a disadvantage for this kind of discussion. however, the same goes for me
an in-person talk will put me at a severe disadvantage where i won't be able to say what i want. i will need to prepare by writing down these things i want to say, and then i will have to be able to look through these things to respond, and i cannot account for everything in advance!
(alt text too long, cont in next image)

continued alt text
can i respond to his invitation to discuss in person with my reasoning for *not* wanting to discuss in person? yeah definitely. but i also struggle with the desire to be neurotypical and not have to ask for an accommodation, as well as the dilemma of "what if this is his accommodation i am denying"
obviously if i don't say anything we won't get anywhere. but i also feel like we're not gonna get anywhere with this discussion anyway so i don't think it's worth opening a new can of worms. it would be nice to clear everything up but i wish in-person was not default when we have technology.

Cuncivil.workOct 13, 2024 4:28pm

origin post going to second thread

"because obviously my rabbi thought it was legit lol and like
oh no wonder he doesn't wanna talk to me over texts and shit to discuss our differences in opinion about israel/palestine, he believes everything he read in that book about social media
‪[quoteskeet contents would be here again but i ran out of alt text characters and the quoteskeet was already in the full diagram alt text]
like honestly, if he needs to be able to speak to a person and see them, i could record a video message. i could script it, record it, send it. if that's how he needs to communicate, i can do that. if he prefers to respond via video too, fine. i would ask for a transcript too tho.
quoted post: obviously if i don't say anything we won't get anywhere. but i also feel like we're not gonna get anywhere with this discussion anyway so i don't think it's worth opening a new can of worms. it would be nice to clear everything up but i wish in-person was not default when we have technology.
we literally have *so many* ways to communicate these days that accommodate *so many* different disabilities. i think it can accommodate people who need in-person communication without making it more difficult for those of us who don't find in-person "natural" because we're not neurotypical
literally in-person is exhausting and mentally taxing to me.
phone calls are exhausting and mentally taxing.
texts i can do all day.
i'm willing to make sacrifices to my needs for better communication. i do it all the fucking time, without being asked, because society is built for neurotypicals.
i would just like, if i am going to be discussing a thing that i feel very strongly about, that i truly want to have an impact upon a person, that i want to change someone's mind over, for that person to make sacrifices so that i have the best opportunity to communicate the way i am most comfortable

BDaetataureate.bsky.socialOct 13, 2024 4:27pm

i think in scattershot ways like this, especially when i'm working, but i just don't ever post as much as this. like to me, that's the difference -- the urge to post the thoughts in this format. but i think having a lot of juggling thought threads that spread and reunite is not strange or anything.

civ 👻🍎 - 🇵🇸 🕎 ☮️ - ceasefire now

@uncivil.work

566 followers573 following6.4k posts