my dog and i both get equally excited when the pizza guy rings the doorbell but i just hide it better

In pizza we crust.

If you're not the one jumping up on me and raking me with your claws I'll call it a win. Bonus points if you resist running in front of my car as I pull into your driveway.

I doubt that

Hey man, it's pizza. I fully understand.

You don't jump up and down and wiggle your butt with joy? You need better pizza.