Temporary Secretary by Paul McCartney. But maybe it's so bad that I secretly love it.

Found out that whenever my gf has some fancy beer she doesn't want me to drink she hides it in the veggie drawer in the fridge. It's worked for years.

When you roll to see what magic item you got and it's a Bill of Lading

You're the guy that orders the hamburger at the family Mexican restaurant

Internet dating is weird. I was on a date and I was telling her how my cat owned a bank and he invested all the client funds into pork futures and then ate all the pork and was being investigated by the feds and she just like noped out. Why are you judging me on what my cat did?

So turns out that "good" cholesterol is actually lawful neutral.

Thinking of writing a Nordic Noir. "Fjord of the Lies"

Why am I suddenly seeing all these maps of what states people like nacho cheese Doritos and what states they like cool ranch?

I wanna go back to the days when Coke was made with actual cocaine and Baby Ruth bars were made from real babies.

Vaping in the gender neutral restroom