I’m going to open a competitor to the Kruger park called the Dunning park, I have no experience with game reserves but my one would be better

Interrupting the guy talking on his phone in the airport lounge to say "actually, biweekly is ambiguous - do you mean semiweekly or fortnightly?"

Never forget the crew member of the El Faro cargo ship who heard his boat beginning to fall apart and made a Scooby Doo reference. (Screenshot taken from page 340 of the audio transcript at https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/3237729-El-Faro-VDR-Audio-Transcript-8510451-ver1-0.html)

Mom says it's my turn to use the electron https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-electron_universe

joseph: [out of breath] happy mother’s day i got you flowers mary: did you steal those? joseph: no i grew them mary: we don’t have a garden joseph: it’s a miracle from god mary: joseph: you see how that sounds

I think a hilarious thing is that cats are generally better at "fetch" than dogs, but because their skill is genetic rather than trained in (i.e. trying to please humans), their embarrassment at fetching something worthless makes it hard to play it with them for any length of time.

To Law BlueSkyers I present you Dawn Anters the "Two hot lawyer chicks wouldn't hire me so I'm gonna sue" dude.

/honk

I sound robotic and/or overly formal in my commit messages because I automatically type a single quote to begin and then I'm committed to "do not" instead of "don't" unless I want quote-escaping hell.

Taking a green field approach to Blue Sky