I tore myself apart for this mistake of vulnerability. I ripped myself to shreds, what did I do wrong? How could I have done this?  I threw away the parts of me that held no answer until I was throwing myself off bridges, hoping to see answers in the rippling of the concrete water below.

Whenever I tried to defend myself the  allegations grew worse, never detailed  but always all-encompassing, first manipulation, then abuse, then rape, I was never given the opportunity to take the rejection and move on. I was never given the option to defend myself, to offer apology,