I hear Bluesky is open to the public now. Still, no one likes my BS.

“OMG that guy looks just like me!”, I thought to myself “except he has a purse”. Then I looked down…AND I TOTALLY HAD A PURSE! 😵

BREAKING: OLD PEOPLE STILL ALIVE, IN CHARGE

Hear me out: it’s like “the purge” but only fashion crimes are forgiven!

I’m kinda thinking we should change the name for Brownies? …seems racist. Individual chocolate cake squares might fit the bill!

Everytime the NPR Up First sponsor is Satva, I get to have a Diet Coke! 🥰

It’s absolutely bonkers what Justin Timberlake has gotten away with. Not even heartfelt letters from the cast of That 70s Show could convince me he’s not a total asswipe!

Ugh I hate rubberneckers! But also… 👀

If you flush a stinky turd super fast, does it reduce the smell left in the bathroom? Asking for the guy whose feet I can see under the stall who could have made better life decisions…

Dear Window Seat People: You are the worst! Sincerely, Aisle Seater