Les Hittites et les faunes maison.

Shekelesh: another group of sea pirates during the Bronze Age collapse, the Shekelesh apparently lived on ships, according to Hittite correspondence with Ugarit. www.historyfiles.co.uk/KingListsMid...#history#historyfiles#neareast#ancientworld#shekelesh#ugarit#bronzeage#hittites

behold: the one joke I could make about the Haitian blood libel that is funny but only if you’re a bit of a history nerd. everyone clapped and chortled politely, entirely because the hooting chuds are unable to spell “Haitian”.

Same. But I'm suspicious of the Hittites.

Everyone wants to claim "To your descendants I give this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates, the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites."

While they had colonies, and founded Carthage, I'm not sure that they'd be described as having an "empire", for significant periods they were members of other empires... I'm a bit put out for the Egyptians, Hittites and Babylonians though.

People listen to music on the bus without earphones? Hittites. Commercials play at a wildly louder volume than the show? Hittites. Open-plan office space? Hittites. Mansplaining? Hittites. Headlights too bright? Hittites. <politician you oppose>? You bet your sweet bippy they're a Hittite.

I'm going to blame everything on the Hittites from now on. (Not their descendants who may claim other cultural identities; the original Hittite Empire, specifically oh let's say their wars with the Assyrians.)

The Hittites did not know the consequences of their actions.

Them and the Hittites jfc