I'm hoping to get a two piece suit sorted for mcm London as possible backup outfit. This tailor I found makes me feel really good about my old clothes and that I don't have to get rid of everything. I do need to get rid of a few things though
Mood improved a bit on Friday. Got really worn down. Saturday I started late but I did lots of chores and cycling. I ate a bit. I am still tired. Today I hope I can finish a few more chores before doing the big run
Really bad
My dysphoria is really really bad today
Hurts a bit today. Trying to work out why. Take a pick: yesterday I accidentally fell asleep while tucking, very active day yesterday, lots of walking today, very compressed outfit today and of course not to forget, dysphoria. I might expect all of the above.
Cannot help but feel like I failed today. I did 4 hours zone 2 but not enough heart points and barely any zone 3 at all. My heart just unable to push on Tuesday
It's taking me over an hour to unpack all the stuff I left on the floor and bed since I basically collapsed when I got home. I just made sure the perishable foods got in the fridge before I was too weak to continue.
But combine that with travelling to the office and some cycling and chores the total figure was 3500-3700kcal...which is like when I do 3000kcal on the treadmill. I got so tired earlier I couldn't lift my body. I suppose I'm nearly 100kg with the loaded weight on plate carrier
She got scared today. Scared to be herself. Scared to live. I don't want her to deal with the things I'm seeing and facing. I did only 2700kcal today I couldn't get my heart rate up