and then to think that I would like someone to pay that sorta attention to me in a healthier way, not in the way I had to watch my parents, would be cool and all but this would narrow down the people I could be with for my life to...yea zero

because theres gonna be a fun one that will of course turn this into an extremelly toxic behaviour of asking if you are alright all the time forcing you to always fake that you are. because that person's worry will overwhelm you into being ok. not that you will be, you just supress it out of fear.