Ive only got myself

After literally standing up to get something and forgetting what I was going to look for, and looking around my messy home, I'm wondering ifif maybe ive reached a level of burnout haha haaa ha... not that it really matters I guess, what can be done? I dont have much choice but powering through.

Me: have a good day 🙂 Customer: you too, have a lovely day! 😄 Me: *caught offguard by the lovely part* Me: *tonguetied for the next transaction*

Another positive, when babies come through my line, make eye contact with me, and dont cry :)

Trying to find small positives, after the shit with my ex, its so validating whenever a customer comes thru my line with their little kid and tells the kid to "give (what they want to buy) to the lady(me)". So I do at least look somewhat like a woman maybe, even if I dont meet ex's "standard".Thank.

I want to fix my life, I just dont know how.

30s is when its meant to get better apparently, but im so far behind still... so fucking far behind.

And despite my efforts at presenting a normal front, a coworker picked up on something wrong with my mood, so i cant even maintain normalcy to at least keep people around me comfortable... im terrible.

All my local peers are at least living with someone, while im here talking to spiders on my wall and posting that on social media trying to twist it into something funnier than it is just plain pathetic.

Im working on fixing the driving thing, but it feels like too little too late. Theres still so much that ive failed to do. Ill keep trying, but i feel hopeless right now.