Jamming out to Tenacious D and I started headbanging…y’all that shit hits different when you’re 40 as opposed to 20

So I busted two tourists urinating on the building where I work. Y’all, we want you to enjoy our beautiful city. But if you’re not housebroken, stay at the fucking hotel.

My nights recently have been plagued by a single mosquito. And yes I’m convinced it’s the same one every time! Lol the fucker hides when I turn the light on, then I see the bites everywhere including my face! This dude is out for blood lol

Nah that was Mark Felt

So glad to see you over here sir. Your threads on twitter are being overrun by MAGA vermin.

Damn him AND Carlos Santana? Oof.

MAMA WANTS THAT MUGSHOT

Dude same same same on all of that