I was the kid who woke up at 7am on the weekends while my friends slept until noon. I spent a lot of sleepovers watching morning news with their parents. BlueSky feels the same way😂

Listen, I’ve been on the “birds are terrifying” train for a while. They are pointy dinosaurs with hollow bones who defecate on people for fun and should BE FEARED.

This is the most accurate description of mastodon I’ve read on the internet. I mean, I think, because I literally black out 2 minutes into someone explaining mastodon to me.

I came here to do two things: pray and quote Natalie Imbruglia, and I’m all out of faith

Return to Oz. I can barely talk about it. Those fucking wheelers.

Cool cool, when do I start paying you for general access, paying you again for even less access, and then answering bluesky polls about your self-worth? I don’t wanna miss it.

Controversial, but I’m going to say it. Mitchum Huntzberger was right. Rory didn’t have it.

Fred Rococo is the only man I trust.

The ocean is my biggest fear. Secretly I want to drain it, prove it’s filled with nightmares, and forget the whole thing ever happened. But instead, I scream at my kids to stay away from it and ruin every beach vacation.

Sign…… me up? I’m conflicted.