I was the kid who woke up at 7am on the weekends while my friends slept until noon. I spent a lot of sleepovers watching morning news with their parents. BlueSky feels the same way😂

I came here to do two things: pray and quote Natalie Imbruglia, and I’m all out of faith

Controversial, but I’m going to say it. Mitchum Huntzberger was right. Rory didn’t have it.

Fred Rococo is the only man I trust.

The ocean is my biggest fear. Secretly I want to drain it, prove it’s filled with nightmares, and forget the whole thing ever happened. But instead, I scream at my kids to stay away from it and ruin every beach vacation.

Society will never correct itself until all Real Housewives shows are cancelled. They’re mean.

I’m honor of Father’s Day, I’m watching Road House for the first time. Ever.

I hope Twitter ends like The Sopranos

hacker: I have all your passwords me: omg thank you, what are they

Looks like melted crayon. Tastes like melted crayon heaven.