Adding to my will that I am to be buried with a bag of the truffle oil Kettle chips.

My phone doesn’t have a sound jack and I don’t have bluetooth earphones, so back in my old break room I used to occasionally watch a video or play music if I was the only one in there, but if someone else came in it went off. It’s basic courtesy!

Baller inscription tbh

He started into the chorus too and his dad tried to intervene, but not before he managed to get out “Make a bitch go on and on” kids really do know how to make nearby boomers have heart palpitations intuitively

My seven year old standing up at a family dinner and singing perfectly, from memory, the bridge from Feminenomenon, is exactly why I decided to have a child (I’m bad and evil and constant humiliation is my cosmic punishment)

I finally went ahead and Zazzled some earring cards, maybe I’ll look a little like I have my shit together that way.

I’m making 4 pairs of these guys as sculptural earrings, they’re such a pleasure.

12 is extreme lowballing.

I was gonna say. I’m in MT, and the people here crowing about how safe we are from disaster could be Pompeii’d any day. Like, we might have time to shit our pants if we’re lucky. Every place on Earth has intrinsic hazards, why gloat and bring that karma down?

tl cleanse 🖕