"Well, this is nice, isn't it? Finally some of that 'us' time you've been pestering me for... Yep, just us for a change... Us at the Costa Coffee having some quality time together."

The plug socket by his head is weirding me out.

That's possibly one of the most depressing images I've ever seen...

Me, you and our four identical coffee cups and spoons

"Oh! Did I tell you about that time I couldn't get a hotel! In Newcastle! ... erm, yes. Jenny was there... Yes it was Valentines Day."

Victoria gives off such Melania vibes. Dead on the inside but you still can't feel sorry for her

“Now please keep in mind that this is my treat to you and as such I trust you not to ‘take the mick’ and keep your order to one small coffee and we can split a muffin should it be required.”