-once we’ve gotten out of the relationship and it’s something trivial like that they vape or something like that or they give me a gift with no sentimentality, it makes me think/feel that I’ve done all that opening up & I’ve put in all that effort to try & be intimate and inclusive all for nothing.

And when I do think/feel that, I then question if what I had tried to do really had good intentions of trying to get to know someone or was it merely just a pretence to fulfill my inner desire to feel deeply understood and to understand others along with my insecurity around feeling alienated.