It is, in fact, good for children to learn that their parents are individuals with their own needs that should be respected!

It is also EXTREMELY GOOD for the children to learn they can function away from their parents, and how to do that!

Yes. And children do better when their parents aren’t super duper stressed and exhausted from being the sole care providers 24/7, and when parents can actually relax and enjoy their time with their kids instead of resent it.

it is also good for parents to learn to separate from their children (my mother was not good at this); individuation matters on both sides

My husband and I have worked really hard to make sure that I’ve had time and space to keep old hobbies and develop new ones since my daughter was born 8 years ago, and that’s been the single best thing we’ve done for my mental health in that time.

How else will children find out all the ways that their parents are weird?

I remember as a kid desperately wishing my parents had friends and hobbies like my parents' friends did, because that made them cool and interesting and my parents were just always there and annoying.

One of the big unexpected joys I’ve found in the kids growing up IS that they get to be totally separate people with totally separate lives (at school at least), not only because yes I desperately need alone time but also because THEY need time away from me to figure out how to people!

And it's good for both children and parents to not be quite so enmeshed.

I was at a talk the former CJ of the SCC gave to a women lawyers’ group and she made the point that having *competent, trained* childcare professionals involved with early child care is a good thing - eg they can catch early childhood development issues most parents are not trained to notice

I think kids also need to know that there are other adults in the world who can be there for them who *aren't* their parents. Knowing that there are many ways of being adults seems like a positive, horizon-broadening thing.