Watching curry & cyanide & yo, if i ever die suddenly you go ahead & disregard the fact that i’m in the worst health of my life & do that postmortem, never opt out, when you live a like mine ppl holding grudges

Deeply offended that a streaming app would think i’d want autoplay on as a default setting after all this time we've spent together

Ugh it’s so annoying how dogs are so loud, they bark up a storm to warn you that an intruder is trying to rob your home, whereas cats are nice & quiet while they peacefully plot to murder you in your sleep & gang bang your corpse with their street friends

My car is a hybrid, representing my dual care for the planet & willingness to burn fuel to speed up in traffic to prevent another human being from going in front of me

I AM NOT A RAPPER & I WILL NOT HAVE A DISS TRACK OR A NEXT RAP ALBUM

Maaaan the 70s seemed horrible, everyone smelling bad & looking bad & talking absolute shit & not a cell phone to scroll & hide from it all in sight. Fuck that

The message i’m getting from netflix is if i want them to make something about me all i have to do is behave very very very very very very very very very badly

‪They keep churning out docs about someone learning about their zillion half siblings bc a fertility doctor messed around sneaking in his own sperm & IT’S ALWAYS A DIFFERENT GUY ‬ ‪HOW‬ ‪STOP DOING THIS??!?!!!?!‬