Waking up my sleeping parents like Bam Margera to tell them the latest on the Sam Altman/OpenAI story. "The scuttlebutt is that there had been a major AI breakthrough shortly before the board vote," I scream through a megaphone. "The technology had become capable of making even bustier waifus."

my god, what if the waifus become too busty? what has mankind done?

Please doctor, my waifu…she’s very thicc.

Hi I'm Brandt VanDerBean and this is ChatGPT-sus take the wheel! *turns on full auto driving in a one story electric pickup and proceeds to cause a 72 car pile up in downtown San Francisco*

The AI-enhanced boob physics started to become—well, not sentient exactly, but the motion it generated went beyond what merely-organic neural tissue can comprehend. 17 engineers had partial or total breakdowns during the rendering tests. One faction saw riches in this; the other, a world gone mad.

Rokos brassièreolisk

Groggily: C’mon Dave, I’ve got work in the mornin’

[in an Eastern PA accent so thick it literally makes your nose bleed] Aw c'mon Dave iss 3:30 in the mornin'

They've revolutionised data. It's even more now.

“Ladies and gentlemen, like humanity leaving the darkness to embrace and harness fire, we’ve left the Humanuh Humanuh Huge Honkers age and entered the era of Awooogah Awoooogah Get A Load of Them Gazongabongalongalos.”

Their new model came within 10 of the correct answer to 31-5. You cannot imagine the advantage this grants it