I don’t think anyone is looking to date a monk or a guy with zero social connections

Dating websites are made for people with zero social connections of any gender

You'd be surprised - depending on the culture, they're in high demand someplaces

Everyone tells me being a monk is so cool, they twirl their fingers in their hair and ask to see the sacred texts but it takes more than that to defeat my 57 autistic strikes of divine retaliation

I dunno! What if the monk has been studying secret and forbidden kung fun styles in his solo meditations, but is now seeking an acolyte and perhaps, dare I say, a lover, who will invariably learn the technique only to betray him and return to the normal world?