(...the "blues in A" hand position there tells me that we are playing "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" by Georgia Satellites, which I inexplicably also sing lead on.)

"...I am not sure my brain is wired for fantasy...." I think about your two word critique ("elf shit") far too often

My band does enough classic Southern rock that I can embody a whole white-trash alter ego for most of the 3rd set...

You know you've been spending too much time engaging with flat Earthers when you misread a tweet that says "Ethnostates are wrong" as "Eratosthenes was wrong".

Partial eclipses are absolutely nothing. Total eclipses are f@#%ing wild though. Drive to Indianapolis next April and if you decide it was not worth the effort, I will Venmo you your gas money back.

It will separate the committed sluts from the fair-weather-sluts.

I made this account then I promptly forgot about it, just I predicted I would.

Before the season started I would have welcomed you to join Jets Nation, but...

Don't want to let anyone in with a case of Djembe Fever

I bet they'd be super into DigDug, though