The hope is that I look back on this page and feel horrified. Knowing I was ever in this state of mind would confound future me. Or that it’s cryptic enough I’ll never want to peer into it. I hope that day comes. Or I forget about this. Or I come back from a much healthier place with gratitude.

I don’t know what I’m doing in a relationship or dating like ever but hopping into one I never saw a downside to besides the end that would kick my ass. Ultimately the journey/learning experience is more worth than never having tried. I hate myself for speaking rationally. Because I have to face

Truthfully I’m a lover boy but I kinda suck at it lol

I feel like cutting everyone off again. I feel deeply overwhelmed by the isolation. It’s causing me to think I’m unwanted and unloved. Ughhhhhh I want that love for real.

Shouting into the void here is really fun actually I see why people do it

Holy Fuck that’s why I’m behind and will stay behind. KYOMOTO LEFT THAT ROOM. EVERYONE EVENTUALLY LEAVES THAT ROOM. I WILL NEVER LEAVE THAT ROOM. I’M FUCKING DOOMED LMFAO. SOMEONE FUCKING EXECUTE ME

I don’t really know why I made this account. I came here because it’s another corner to snug myself into while I contemplate su*cide. I can’t eat because of stress. I’m tired of my own brain. I’m tired of being overwhelmed by things that are a consequence of being.