you swallow so many babies , everything that come out your mouth is childish.

Not an excuse, just an explanation: I am not listening.

Hey Etsy, how is this a “Seagulls Mug” and not “2 GULLS. 1 CUP”?

the lady in the drive thru window called me baby 3 times so i told her i loved her

I needed a pick me up. Thanks. As someone who has had to hide ideation from my kids I’m raising, it’s the best acting I’ve ever done and the realest. All the best.

I respectfully disagree, doctor—my Tim Conway tapes clearly indicate my son is suffering from Dorfism.

Feels like a missed Oscar category

Makes me jealous when you all talk about other websites.

And then we stirred up shit on the internet, as was the style at the time.

Halloween costume idea! "Sexy Disappointment"