Why are Oasis reforming? • £££ Why are they reforming now? • Fifty year old men have £££ Why is it so important? • News editors are, generally, fifty year old men This completes my article, “why is there blanket coverage of this? Literally everything you need to know.”

To quote US sports writer Tony Kornheiser (in turn quoting a TV exec), "The answer to all your questions is 'money'".

Chug chug chug rhythm at the same plodding pace for every song. Middle aged men will lap this up and pay hundreds

Terrible news Noel is nearer 60

Ooh ooh, do the blanket coverage of billionaire yacht disaster one next!

I really feel attacked here ...

The answer is almost always at least one of 'divorce' and 'tax bill'. One of them is divorcing, and goodness only knows what has metaphorically landed on the door mat of the other.

It's always money. I mean, if the Police can get together, so can anything who still has living members. Who need money (as Andy Summers did)

In America it's basically "eh, they were really popular for a very short time and also were/are colorful characters; maybe worth a brief mention." In Britain they were an enormous cultural phenomenon for years, so the hype makes some sense.

You’re missing that the young’ns also seem to love Oasis more than newer bands and will pay £££ to see them.

I’m expecting news reports on rights issues over SuperTed and Bagpuss being run over.