I’ve reached peak old lady. I just blasted “Closing Time” at my neighbor’s back yard, followed by my yelling, “Go home, or go the fuck inside, it’s midnight!” They’ve gone the fuck inside. Or maybe home. Either way, they couldn’t stay where they were.

Just sent in my passport for renewal. I’m sad the pictures are in b&w now, and I couldn’t smile! I WANT TO SMILE! My vanity demands smiling. I look 10+ years older due to not smiling. I’m full of ennui over this.

It’s about time you got here! (I made cupcakes with you years ago in NYC.)

I had to ask my husband if he had an invite code, and then ask him to give it to me. I’m pretty sure I was not his first pick. :p (In fairness I’m 80% lurker, 15% responder, and 5% poster.)

Similar vibes as this bathroom sign I recently came across.

Gonzo,he’d want to make sure everyone’s needs were met, plus he comes with a chicken - I don’t know what that means but I assume it’s kinky.

I don’t know what they’re plotting, but I’m concerned. (Likely my demise - how dare I not feed them unlimited treats.)

Thank you, that’s my Secret deodorant doing its job.

At the last white elephant party I attended (geniusly hosted after the holidays) someone brought a sack of potatoes - it was the most coveted gift.

Noooooo! Crap, my set is a tan set! Guess it’s time to test.