very different vibes but I got instantly reminded of Dan Feng

also I was rereading tgcf after three whole years! and I came across the passage where the state preceptors are asking Xie Lian to reflect on that whole saving that boy thing and he’s like. I won’t :) if the heavens say that’s wrong, then they’re the ones in the wrong it just feels so

that’s jing yuan’s grief to me I think….. a constant presence that’s there, but that doesn’t mean you don’t live. that doesn’t meant you can’t press on.

I think grief for him might be like a bad tooth, I remember reading this I think in Anne of Avonlea but grief is like a bad tooth in the sense that. there’s bad days and good days, it’s a presence you’re always aware of but you still. you still do live on, you have happy days but it’s there

ahhhh man though jing yuan the guy who is filled with grief and is old and all that and yet he strides on with something like hope. he is so full of life and mischief still, just as he was when was young, but there’s just the added weight of grief, age, experience….

I spoke about this with someone else but there’s always this tinge of….. disappointment, for lack of words. no that feels a little harsh. maybe it is just grief too. grief both in missing Dan Feng, the person, and grief in the mistake he did

of course this is something that ends up affecting me as a reader but also maybe jing yuan who looks on the past….. but the thing is, with jing yuan, he’s also so!! he yearns for dan feng but he’s also always so cognizant of what he did. of why their time was cut short like that.

though how I view jingfeng ends up always having that shadow of grief in the future…their happy days are that much more filled with yearning and precious because it was cut so short. they never would’ve had eternity with each other but less than a hundred years….when they should’ve had so much more

There’s this one jingfeng art by @/spectralsoups on Twitter and it’s the epitome of fengjing’s happiest days to me. that’s how they were!!!! he laughed and chatted with him!!!!

there’s a strength to Firefly that I adore so much….. idk I just ended up loving her so much from 2.2