Between being exhausted due to lack of sleep on top of actual fucking anemia I haven't felt awake and energized for more than an hour or so in LITERALLY YEARS. I have only felt tired. I'm *so* tired of this. I am so tired of feigning feeling awake and able to function.

And I'm sorry. I'm complaining a lot and I hate doing that. Nobody wants to hear me complain. I have an appointment with a hematologist on Monday. One I've been waiting for since......May?? Maybe I can find a way forward from there. But I'm not hopeful.