BREAKING: proud owner of a penis exclaims he's never experienced something that could never happen to him so it obviously can't be true, more at 9.
was the band owl city only created to roll credits on children's movies?
Hot pockets are hillbilly beef wellingtons and I will not apologize for this
republicans understand consent, that's why they're homophobic. they just don't care when the victim is a woman.
Sending memes about the most fucked up displays of human cruelty to god and captioning it with “us”
I got asked to write an obituary for a birthday party of a dude turning 30. Party theme is "death to your 20s" and I was asked to roast him. I feel like I did alright.
do you think kanye monologues in his mirror about what he'd say to taylor swift now that she's wildly more popular than him on a global scale? I don't like either of them, but that shits funny
him: when are you running for office? me: idk how to golf
If I had generational wealth, I'd make a bar that had its own designated drivers on staff and if you utilize it instead of driving drunk, you get a free drink and a ride discount instead of a DUI or a murder.