Reminds me of when the inimitable @gailsimone.bsky.social made a thread in The Bad Place talking about how things would be like if Columbo was a gynecologist. Her captions to the photographs were both very accurate to the character, as well as very disturbing.

Only 32, so young

"Just one more thing..." [hits Play on a bulky tape recorder that has sleazy saxophone music cued up]

Hey girl, wanna come check out this LA chilli place I know? I dunno, it's super chill but whatever.

yessssss