Heard JD is a big Magic fan so we designed him his own custom card: JD Vance, Thrall of Thiel. We also acted under the assumption that JD prefer white borders over black ones.

{2} Tap target Couch: Draw a card

"Can't block" Well done. :D

Should summon a 1/1 couch token when it enters the battlefield

oh no, he -was- a fan, but he gave it up because the popular alpha male clique made fun of him for it

what's really weird is that they already gave trump a card close to 20 years ago

Not as much of a card as the real JD Vance.

All Trumpists need to be either Goblins or a new creature type: Trumpanzees.

The card is unplayably bad, which is a great thematic fit. I'd put a cost and/or tap requirement on the third rules line. Maybe make it a sac outlet for Food or Treasure tokens since the guy's only campaign stops are to eat and waste money

Banned in all formats.Banned in all formats.

I think you might have mistaken the initials "MTG"