there are support groups, i've considered going tho often those make shit intensely worse right afterwards, which is a big part of why i stopped like suicidal worse were i to try such a thing i'd genuinely prolly need supports ready afterward

pick the ones that make the most sense and go and if you have a therapist, talk to them about this. You’re beating yourself up unfairly. It’s a common depression thing, and you can overcome it, but it does take work over time to do so